Runway Models Visit Famine Stricken Ethiopia: Don’t See a Problem

An international team of runway models, sent to Ethiopia as goodwill ambassadors by the United Nations World Fashion Committee, recently completed a two week tour of the North African country that has been ravaged by years of famine, drought, and conflict and report that “all is well.”

Upon returning, self-appointed model spokeswoman Kate Moss asserted that “the starving people of Ethiopia seem to be doing quite well. If anything, I’d call them a little chubby around the middle.”

While staying in rural villages, the models were reportedly offered feasts of lentil paste and injera (flat bread made from teff) by tribal leaders, afterwards claiming that they were “stuffed,” that they “had never eaten so much in their entire lives,” and that they “couldn’t possibly eat another bite” (which was convenient because there wasn’t another bite to be had).

Ukrainian model Daria Werbowy stated that she was a little concerned about all the carbs, but didn’t mention it because she didn’t want to insult the culture. “I recently attended an Eating Disorder Awareness Seminar, which brought to my attention the affect my skinniness and overall attractiveness can have on less skinny or attractive people. I’d hate for these people to stop eating so they can look like me.”

Model Sarah Walsh added: “Some of them eat one meal every day. Can you imagine? A whole meal every single day? I’d get so bloated.”

When asked if any of the models were concerned about the country’s food shortage, Moss looked confused: “the citizens of Ethiopia are getting the full 150 calories a day it takes to be fabulously beautiful. Most people would kill to have their skinny little legs.”

Some of the models even expressed envy over the Ethiopians’ living conditions. “Famine is a great diet. It’s easy to avoid food when there isn’t any.”

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