Today marks a milestone in the life of Zizzle-Zot, etc.: 100 posts! To celebrate his entrance into the 2nd century, he’d like to take a moment while he basks in the glory of internet supremacy as he invites everyone to comment with a note of congratulations, excessive flattery, or out and out ass kissing (keeping in mind that we are fast approaching the announcement of September’s Reader of the Month).
Upon turning 100, The Zot would like to announce that he now feels fully justified in his right to not only report the news, but to dictate what news is, as well as to create news as he sees fit when the events of the day are not up to Zizzle-Zot standards. He would also like to announce his intention to further expand his dominion over the World Wide Web, eventually establishing himself as the preeminent news source; a repressive journalistic autocracy on a scale grander than even China’s.
The Zot can now unabashedly, unashamedly refer to himself in the newly created fourth person (referring to oneself by referring to one’s alter-ego. At 100, the Zot is now fully authorized to alter the rules of grammar and narrative at his whim). He can also unapologetically make frequent use of the semicolon; a piece of archaic grammar that has no place in modern language.
Though Zizzle had some initial reservations about creating a blog, hesitant to come off as an arrogant, self-righteous ass, he now revels in his manifested position of power. Though he feigns humility by acknowledging the pretentiousness of blogging, subverting the idea of pretension by exposing it, the Zot would like to assure you all that, in reality, this isn’t a self-deprecating act. He is in fact one of the most pretentious human beings you’ve ever met, residing in the upper echelon of pompousness occupied by the likes of Donald Trump, Sting, and the ever smug Tom Cruise.
Just kidding, folks.
In all seriousness, a big thanks goes out to all the loyal readers responsible for furthering Zizzle-Zot’s quest for world dominance. Together we will one day rule the world (or at the very least be smarter than everyone else in it).
Thanks for reading.
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5 comments:
When I first started reading today's post (in 4th person) I thought that maybe you had hired a writer to write on your blog for you or in all of your power forced a poor soul into zizzle-zot blog slavery.
I must say, my lunch time would be a lot more boing over these last 100 post if pretentious blog #1 had never been created. So thank you to Gruber for taking the time to think and write and thank you to all my fellow readers for giving Gruber a reason to write and for good dialogue following his posts.
Groobs, congatulations! I have to be honest, I have definitely gotten hooked on the Zot. For I while there I was checking about every 15 min. to see if people wrote comments during some of the earlier discussions.
Now that I am back in the classroom I do not have quite as much time, but there is always time to read Zizzle Zot and leave a comment.
It has been a good way to stay connected to college buddies and voice my opinion on issues that really get me going. I look forward to the 101st posting, I am sure it will be a good one. Good work Reburg!
This is my first posting, but i am a regular reader. Sometimes you make me think, sometimes you make me laugh...however you are yet to make me cry. maybe that should be your next goal? Keep it up and I look forward to reading 100 more!
Who are you anonymous? It would be nice to know who all reads this.
Groob Daddy!
What an accomplishment. I couldn't be happier for you. I kinda feel like I just watched my own kid graduate high-school, or watched my daughter get married. Ok well I never have felt those things, but iI don't think they'll even compare to how happy and proud I am of you.
You have definitely made lunch time at Manor Concrete better than I could have imagined. I mean now I can finally get some peace and quiet from Pat while reads and follows up with a post.
Well thanks for being a part of my everyday life and I hope that we'll be seeing post number 1000 in the not too distant future.
Zot-4-Life Biatch!!!
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