Pat Hearts Rudy…?

As many of you may have heard, late last week conservative Christian televangelist Pat Robertson announced his official endorsement of Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, giving the former NY mayor a huge boost in the Religious Right stratosphere. Late Night suggested that this could make an interesting blog topic. I’m inclined to agree.

The Religious Right, as we have seen in past years, is a powerful voting bloc capable of swinging entire elections. Not to stereotype (but to generalize), the group tends to vote two issues: abortion and homosexual marriage. Typically, they will support the candidate that is unabashedly pro-life and anti-gay.

So why is Pat Robertson, one of the group’s iconic figures, throwing his considerable weight behind a pro-choice, civil-union supporting, mob-tied cross-dresser? Giuliani is twice divorced, has been accused of “open and notorious adultery,” and is reviled by his own children. On top of all this, he’s a Catholic. Gross.

I’ve come up with two different theories.

The first is that Pat Robertson has decided it’s time to hedge his bets. Consider the front-runners for the Republican nomination. McCain has successfully made himself obsolete through old-man stubbornness and the Straight Talk Express. It’s a cute little act, but can’t possible sustain through the electoral process. That leaves Giuliani and Mitt Romney. Robertson, I’m sure, sees the possible election of Romney as an assault on Christianity. A Christian, any Christian, even a baby-killing Christian, would surely be better than a Mormon. I expect that Robertson fears Mitt’s primary objective in the White House will be to convert the nation.

My second theory is that Robertson is a phony bologna and uses his religious affiliation as either a business or a means to further his own agenda. It doesn’t take much digging to unearth some of the televangelist’s darker secrets. In 2001 he approved of abortion as a form of population control in China. At the time he needed the Chinese government’s support of a business, Zhaodaola, which he founded and financed. The business was looking to set up internet facilities in China. Also in 2001, it was discovered that Robertson was a partner in a gold mining venture in Liberia. The business provided infamously brutal dictator Charles Taylor (who is now on trial for war crimes) with a cut of the profits.

It seems Pat Robertson’s moral authority crumbles under the weight of the almighty dollar.

What does the man himself have to say about his seemingly hypocritical support of Giuliani? While announcing his Giuliani endorsement, Robertson made the following statement: “to me, the overriding issue before the American people is the defense of our population from the bloodlust of Islamic terrorists. Our second goal should be the control of massive government waste and crushing federal deficits.”

I’m not sure when governmental spending became a part of the Religious Right’s agenda, but I’ll put that issue aside.

If you’ll all join me on a trip down memory lane, I’d like to remind everyone of Robertson’s response following 9/11. At the time, he asserted that the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center was God’s punishment for abortion, homosexuality, and the “rampant secularism” that had overtaken America. He believed we had it coming. Now he claims we need protection from the wrath we brought upon ourselves? And he supports a man who seems to be rampant secularism incarnate (and is essentially running on the 9/11 platform: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/giuliani_to_run_for_president_of_9).

A little contradictory?

I’m not saying…I’m just saying…

Theory #3: Robertson is hoping that electing Giuliani to office will hasten the arrival of Armageddon.

Thanks for reading.