February Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month (Let’s Pretend December and January Never Happened)

About 2 months ago I announced the development of a new less-is-more (still highly theoretical) blog platform. The idea was that as I started a new job (presumably equating to less post-writing time), I’d be able to produce higher quality entertainment and analysis by writing longer articles less frequently. This has resulted in numerous reverberations on the make-up of Zizzle-Zot, etc.

Many of the changes were foreseen, some were hoped for but have yet to come to fruition (guest bloggers), some were completely unanticipated. Amongst the unfortunate victims of the blog cuts were a number of ongoing series (People of Note, Things I Care About (And Why)). These were series that I had every intention to continue, but the realities of once a week posting made them difficult to maintain (it’s tough to justify writing a week’s sole post on Ned Kelly).

But recently the gravest of all neglects was brought to my attention: Alas, I have failed to select a new Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.

This omission has been met with unexpected outrage from our little community. Well, faithful readers, you have spoken; rest assured your calls do not go unheeded. This is still a blog for the people.

Congratulations Kevan “K-Han” Hanson on being named February’s Zizzle-Zot Reader of the month!

Though a devoted reader for some time, K-Han spent months under the radar because he didn’t comment as frequently as others. However, it was recently pointed out to me (by the also dedicated and comment averse Suzy Corcs) that the award is called “Reader of the Month,” not “Responder of the Month,” or “Commenter of the Month.” Point taken. Unfortunately I have no method to track exactly who is visiting Zizzle-Zot, etc. All I have are the numbers.

But K-Han more than proved his commitment after the last post, where you’ll notice that he authored 3 out of the first 4 comments. I then noticed that with K-Han on the job, the Zot-Counter soared past 5,600 visits. If we all had the devotion of K-Han, Zizzle-Zot, etc. would quickly become the most visited site on the www, surpassing even Google and TMZ.com, making us more influential than FOXNews in a room full of Baptists.

Thanks, K-Han, for your tireless efforts to assimilate the world to the Zizzle-Zot family.

Resistance is futile (Star Trek: The Next Generation reference. Anyone? The Borg? Come on, people).

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I’m sure I don’t even need to say this, but the Giants Super Bowl win makes me nauseous. And that Eli was named the MVP is just kicking a man while he’s down. I’ll give Manning credit for not losing the super bowl, but what were his stats? 150 yards, 2 TDs and one interception. What a monumental, memorable performance.

I’ll give credit to three factors:

1) The Giants defensive line. Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora and most impressive (at least in this game) Justin Tuck dominated the line of scrimmage for four quarters, stonewalling the running game and serving Brady with a pounding. These guys should have been co-MVPs.

2) The choke artistry of the Patriots offensive line. For 18 games these guys were flawless. During the regular season Brady never got touched. He had enough time in the pocket to knit a scarf before throwing the football. Then they get to the big game and look like a loosely affiliated consortium of flat-footed ninnies. The Giants D beat them repeatedly, and to make matters worse, Pro Bowler Matt Light was whistled for 2 false starts.

3) The great Bill Belichick was out-coached. All season long we’ve been hearing about the Patriots’ ability to make adjustments, to quickly respond to the defensive schemes of their opponents and pick apart their weaknesses. Could it be that this was all hype? Urban legend? The Patriots offense looked completely bewildered in the first half, trying to either force the run (which I’ll never understand because given their passing game) and finding themselves repeatedly stuffed, or having Brady drop back and get sacked. If Belichick is such a genius, why did it take him until the Patriots final drive to realize that quick passes over the middle were the key to moving the chains? Linebackers can’t cover Welker and Faulk, and why not have Moss and Stallworth run some routes over the middle to keep them guessing? I’m not even a football guy, but if I were playing this game in Madden ’08 I know what my plan would be.

I think the worst part about the Giants victory will be listening to a bunch of smug football analysts talk about how they were pointing out the Patriots’ apparent weaknesses all season. The same guys who a week ago anointed them the best team of all time will now be writing about aging linebackers or their inability to run the ball. Ugh.

November Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month

I bet you all didn’t know that November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month. Nor did you know that November is the month of a charity event called Movember in which participants register with a clean shaven face and over the next 30 days grow and groom the best moustache they can, competing for the title “Man of Movember.” November is also the month of elections, El Dia de los Muertos, and Guy Fawkes Night.

Oh, and then there’s Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday – gastronomically speaking of course).

Personally, I’m not a huge advocate of November (though this isn’t really the fault of the month itself). Death abounds as all the leaves have fallen and the grass grows crispy with frost. The transition from pleasantly cool to downright nipply is abrupt, giving my body little time to acclimate to the newly harsh conditions. It’s too early in the season for winter sports, too late to be outside without having snot stream from the nose.

Really, it’s the purgatory of the seasons.

Though this shouldn’t be held against our November Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month (the pronouncement of which may be November’s one saving grace).

Our newest Reader of the Month has proven himself to be a dedicated reader, responding consistently and adding new perspectives along with (insert superlative descriptor here) conversation points. In addition, he has expanded his efforts into the creation of an entirely new blog (check it out at http://thomashelgen.blogspot.com/). I suppose that let’s the proverbial cat out of the bag, defeating my attempt to build suspense by playing coy.

A round of applause for Mr. Antagonist, our newest Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month!

Mr. Antagonist, I know we have all come to appreciate your perspective, your willingness to play devil’s advocate, and your unique contributions (I particularly liked your suggestion to send the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church to Iran, since they don’t have any homosexuals there. And a good effort with “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker” on the Oscar Wilde post).

So kudos, Mr. Antagonist, I’m sure we all agree you’ve earned this prestigious honor and that you will serve the position well.

Thanks to all of you who make Zizzle-Zot, etc. a regular part of your lives. My appreciation of your support is limitless.

I’ve been hearing rumors that we have some new readers that have yet to comment. I urge you all to make your presence on Zizzle-Zot, etc. felt. We’re not looking for anything profound, just drop a quick hello. It’s good to hear some new voices. I realize the blog seems dude-heavy, but ladies don’t let this intimidate you (Suzy Corcs we always love when you chime in). Behind the tough guy exteriors, we all have tender souls.

Well…Maybe not Late Night…

Thanks for reading.

October’s Zizzle-Zot Reader of the month

October is one of my favorite months of the year, if not my absolute favorite. The celebration of Oktoberfest with steins of German beer. The cascade of candy and costumes that is Halloween. The flaming horizon, exploding with reds, yellows and oranges as the leaves, refusing to die without a final blaze of glory, emanate an artists palette on their death beds.

When I awarded the first Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month, it was easy. Only a handful of people were reading Zizzle-Zot, etc., and P Corcs was the only one commenting. The choice was clear, and as the first recipient of the award P Corcs served the position well. His ongoing, consistent and insightful contributions to the blog are never overlooked.

As the months have progressed, the selection process has become more difficult, the competition increasingly fierce. Joey, Late Night and Werd (the 2nd, 3rd and 4th winners, respectively) have not relented in their pursuit of the prize, and the reality is that any one of these first four recipients would be deserving ROTM’s a second time.

In addition, we have some newcomers. Mr. Antagonist has been weighing in regularly and his thoughtful contributions have provided us with interesting new perspectives as well as some convincing counterpoints. Rumor is, he’s thinking about starting up a blog focusing on faith/agnosticism issues as a forum for discussion. I know there are several Zizzle-Zotians, myself included, that would be interested in such discussions and I look forward to his blog.

We’ve also had comments from Anonymous Brother in Law, Noah, K Han, Guess Who, and even the infamous Ryan Gallagher. We always like to hear from these readers, so I urge them to keep it up.

But there can be only one October Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.

This month I’m giving the title of Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month to someone who, since breaking onto the Zizzle-Zot scene in mid-September, has been a devoted reader and commentator. Whether it be his rhyming couplet in response to Oscar the Ostrich, or his reference to P Corcs as Pazzle-toots (which made me laugh), he has exhibited a great deal of creativity in his responses, which is always appreciated. In addition, he’s won bonus for his harsh criticism of Nicholas Cage (who sucks big time), his advocacy of Halo 1 (even though he’ll never be as good as Maverick) and his fondness for Epic Duels.

Congratulations, Swajac, on being named October’s Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month!

Swajac is a substitute teacher, a bartender at the Green Mill, and all around a kick ass guy. In his free time he enjoys frolf, hockey, ice fishing, softball, midnight swimming and singing country songs with Glen in Nashville.

Thanks for reading.

It’s September: You All Know What That Means…

As many of you already know (and are probably wishing I would shut up about), I’m running a marathon at the beginning of October and just recently passed the 4-week countdown. As I’ve delved deeper into the training program I’ve become more and more of a morning person. I now have no trouble waking up before the sun, lacing up the sneakers and hitting the pavement while most of the world groggily slaps the snooze for just five more minutes of glorious rest.

It’s become habit. I wake up between 5:30 and 5:45, drink a glass of water, relieve myself of said glass of water, and by the time I’m running the sun is just beginning to peak over the horizon.

This morning, however, was different. As I sat on the front step tying my shoes I realized it was still dark. Very dark. My forearms were speckled with goosebumps. My nose was running. And my nipples were unusually pointy. For the first time in a long time, I noticed, I was cold. I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Ladies and gentlemen, fall is on our doorstep.

The season of changing leaves, brisk winds, apple orchards and bonfires happens to be my personal favorite. Mid to late September is an unbelievable time to be alive (mostly because it is Library Card Sign-Up Month).

Upon making this abrupt realization another thought dawned on me. We are now ten days into what is possibly my favorite month, and I have thus far neglected my most sacred responsibility: I have yet to name a new Reader of the Month.

We’ve been having some first-rate conversation recently on a few weighty issues, and to be perfectly frank I don’t think this would have been possible without the input of September’s Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month, so without further ado…

Congratulations Drew “Werd Yelof” Foley!

I don’t imagine anyone will deny that “Werd” has earned this honor with his consistent readership and stimulating commentary. By being willing to take stands that at times differ from my own, as well as those of fellow readers, Drew adds a unique dimension to every conversation. I know that the Zizzle-Zot community appreciates his input and looks forward to hearing his thoughts.

Mr. Foley, as he is known to the fourth graders he teaches in Rapid City, SD, just recently bought a home with his lovely wife, Brittany. In his spare time, he enjoys using his small arsenal of rifles and shotguns to shoot plates, bottles and televisions to pieces in the Black Hills, climbing to Harney Peak so he can spit off the top, and watching “The OC: Season 1” (just season 1) on DVD.

Good work, Werd!

Thanks for reading.

And the Next Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month Is…

Named in 8 BC in honor of the Roman Emperor (because several of the most significant events in his rise to power, including the fall of Alexandria, occurred during its days), August is at times begrudgingly referred to as the “dog days of summer.” True, it can be oppressively hot and overwhelmingly humid, the mosquitoes gnaw at our ankles and youngsters are filled with angst as the upcoming school year looms over them. But think of the good that August brings. It’s National Immunization Awareness Month, National Psoriasis (a skin disease which cases scaly red patches to form) Awareness Month, and Women’s Small Business Month.

More importantly, August means that it is time to announce a new Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month!

I gotta admit, this month was a tough one. Several qualified candidates came strong out of the gate, posting early, often, and with vigor. Interesting, insightful conversations were initiated, ideas and world views were challenged, and I think it’s safe to say that we all did some intense ruminating on our beliefs.

Werd (Drew backwards. Very clever. Good work Joe and Pat on cracking that riddle) presented a compelling case in the beginning and was an early favorite. I enjoy writing about sports and he enjoys reading about sports, so seemingly we are a match made in heaven. But Werd’s performance in recent weeks has been lacking (he claims he was on a missions trip to Minneapolis. Sounds kind of sketchy (no one tried to missionize me. I say missions trip smissions trip)). Sorry about the parentheses overkill. Anyways, glad to see you’re back, Werd, but I would be remiss to award you Reader of the Month. There’s always September.

Socrates08 presents some intriguing views and thought-provoking counterpoints, but his posting has been sporadic at best. And I like paragraphs.

Many, many paragraphs.

So, to put an end to the suspense, Augusts’ Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month is Christopher “I log on while I get my log on” Casselman (AKA Late Night Cassel).

Christopher has proven himself to be a loyal reader and poster, and we can always count on some interesting perspectives from him (especially on posts dealing with theology). Plus they call him the Hiphopopotamus, his lyrics are bottomless.

August looks to be an exciting month for Log On. His band, Limit, is set to release a new album and a CD release party is scheduled for Thursday, August 9 at O’Gara’s in St. Paul (check Facebook for details, or go to this link for info about O’Gara’s Garage: http://www.ogaras.com/garagecalendar.html). I expect to see you all there. August is also Chris’s last month in Minnesota. He is set to take a cross country road trip at the beginning of September before he relocates to the West Coast to attend Fuller Seminary in Pasadena, California.

Congratulations Late Night on being named Augusts’ Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.

Thanks for reading.


P.S. You smell like pee.

Zizzle-Zot, etc. Announces New Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month

After a long, arduous selection process and hours spent sifting through the resumes of numerous qualified applicants, the brain-trust behind Zizzle-Zot, etc. has finally agreed upon the recipient of the prestigious Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month award for the month of July.

So without further ado, the next keeper of this proud and auspicious tradition is…none other than loyal lunchtime Zizzle-Zot, etc. reader Joe “Joey” Ritchie.

Zizzle-Zot, etc. would like to congratulate Joey on this well deserved honor and would like to take the opportunity to thank Joe for his daily readership of the Blog, as well as for his timely commentary. Committed readers like him keep Zizzle-Zot writing.

Joey, like past Reader of the Month winner P Corcs, graduated from Bethel University in St. Paul, MN where he established his legacy by farting loudly during class and putting smoothie in P Corcs belly button. He now works at Manor Concrete and when he’s not tearing up the volleyball court at BeBops you can probably find him playing with his puppy or holding down the VIP lounge at Aqua.

Hopefully being awarded Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month will be just the start of the most memorable month of Joey’s life as he prepares to marry the lovely Monica “Mo” Thompson on July 28th. The prayers and blessings of Zizzle-Zot, etc. are with him as he celebrates this momentous occasion (can’t wait).

Good work, buddy!


If you didn’t win Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month this time around, don’t be disheartened. There will be many more opportunities to win the award, and Zizzle-Zot, etc. does not overlook the contributions of any of its readers. Remember to comment when you have thoughts on a post. Make your voice heard. Just think…next month it could be you.

A Zizzle-Zot Honorable Mention goes out to recent commenters Drewbie, Christopher, and of course former Reader of the Month P Corcs. I appreciate all your thoughts.

Patrick Corcoran Named "Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month"

Congratulations to Bethel University graduate, internationally recognized Halo player, and all around kick-ass dude Patrick “P Corcs” Corcoran on being named May’s “Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.”

It was a fierce competition, but Pat was finally able to edge out some weird old guy who checks my blog hourly to win the prestigious award when he posted Zizzle-Zot, etc.’s first ever comment following the “Tequila Added to Axis of Evil” article. Pat, one of the blog’s most loyal fans, commented that he “liked the last two posts,” cementing his legacy as Zizzle-Zot, etc.’s first ever “Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.”

Past awards for Pat include All-MIAC honors for football during his years at Bethel, a top six finish for the “Coolest People to live in Arden Village East Townhouse D4 During the ’03-’04 School Year,” and winner of “Best at Remembering Lines from The Princess Bride.”

Congratulations, P Corcs, on this much deserved award.