Wednesday, February 6, 2008

February Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month (Let’s Pretend December and January Never Happened)

About 2 months ago I announced the development of a new less-is-more (still highly theoretical) blog platform. The idea was that as I started a new job (presumably equating to less post-writing time), I’d be able to produce higher quality entertainment and analysis by writing longer articles less frequently. This has resulted in numerous reverberations on the make-up of Zizzle-Zot, etc.

Many of the changes were foreseen, some were hoped for but have yet to come to fruition (guest bloggers), some were completely unanticipated. Amongst the unfortunate victims of the blog cuts were a number of ongoing series (People of Note, Things I Care About (And Why)). These were series that I had every intention to continue, but the realities of once a week posting made them difficult to maintain (it’s tough to justify writing a week’s sole post on Ned Kelly).

But recently the gravest of all neglects was brought to my attention: Alas, I have failed to select a new Zizzle-Zot Reader of the Month.

This omission has been met with unexpected outrage from our little community. Well, faithful readers, you have spoken; rest assured your calls do not go unheeded. This is still a blog for the people.

Congratulations Kevan “K-Han” Hanson on being named February’s Zizzle-Zot Reader of the month!

Though a devoted reader for some time, K-Han spent months under the radar because he didn’t comment as frequently as others. However, it was recently pointed out to me (by the also dedicated and comment averse Suzy Corcs) that the award is called “Reader of the Month,” not “Responder of the Month,” or “Commenter of the Month.” Point taken. Unfortunately I have no method to track exactly who is visiting Zizzle-Zot, etc. All I have are the numbers.

But K-Han more than proved his commitment after the last post, where you’ll notice that he authored 3 out of the first 4 comments. I then noticed that with K-Han on the job, the Zot-Counter soared past 5,600 visits. If we all had the devotion of K-Han, Zizzle-Zot, etc. would quickly become the most visited site on the www, surpassing even Google and TMZ.com, making us more influential than FOXNews in a room full of Baptists.

Thanks, K-Han, for your tireless efforts to assimilate the world to the Zizzle-Zot family.

Resistance is futile (Star Trek: The Next Generation reference. Anyone? The Borg? Come on, people).

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I’m sure I don’t even need to say this, but the Giants Super Bowl win makes me nauseous. And that Eli was named the MVP is just kicking a man while he’s down. I’ll give Manning credit for not losing the super bowl, but what were his stats? 150 yards, 2 TDs and one interception. What a monumental, memorable performance.

I’ll give credit to three factors:

1) The Giants defensive line. Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora and most impressive (at least in this game) Justin Tuck dominated the line of scrimmage for four quarters, stonewalling the running game and serving Brady with a pounding. These guys should have been co-MVPs.

2) The choke artistry of the Patriots offensive line. For 18 games these guys were flawless. During the regular season Brady never got touched. He had enough time in the pocket to knit a scarf before throwing the football. Then they get to the big game and look like a loosely affiliated consortium of flat-footed ninnies. The Giants D beat them repeatedly, and to make matters worse, Pro Bowler Matt Light was whistled for 2 false starts.

3) The great Bill Belichick was out-coached. All season long we’ve been hearing about the Patriots’ ability to make adjustments, to quickly respond to the defensive schemes of their opponents and pick apart their weaknesses. Could it be that this was all hype? Urban legend? The Patriots offense looked completely bewildered in the first half, trying to either force the run (which I’ll never understand because given their passing game) and finding themselves repeatedly stuffed, or having Brady drop back and get sacked. If Belichick is such a genius, why did it take him until the Patriots final drive to realize that quick passes over the middle were the key to moving the chains? Linebackers can’t cover Welker and Faulk, and why not have Moss and Stallworth run some routes over the middle to keep them guessing? I’m not even a football guy, but if I were playing this game in Madden ’08 I know what my plan would be.

I think the worst part about the Giants victory will be listening to a bunch of smug football analysts talk about how they were pointing out the Patriots’ apparent weaknesses all season. The same guys who a week ago anointed them the best team of all time will now be writing about aging linebackers or their inability to run the ball. Ugh.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

:) <--K-Han

You guys have no idea how much this means! I have watched many of you accept this award in the past, and have wondered if my day will ever come. Well, it finally has, and does it ever feel good!

I'd like to thank Joe and Pat for the push of support in the comments section last week. I don't think this would have happened without them. I guess this is where the saying "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" comes from...I carry you two foolios to wins in halo, and you carry me to the prestigious honor of ROTM.

Seriously though, I have been visiting Zizzle Zot way more than is good. It is on my list of 7 sites that I rotate through on the hour every day at work. I am happy to accept the award, and will continue reading long into the future.

Now it's off to join the facebook group baby!

Anonymous said...

Edit: by "I have been visiting Zizzle Zot way more than is good," I mean "I visit lots and I love it"

Anonymous said...

K-Han...I know you are excited, and rightfully so. But I think we all forgot to inform you of the certain "favors" you'll have to engage in for Mr. Zot. I won't go into to detail, but these "favors" may haunt you for the rest of your life. When I left Zot's house after doing my duty to the ROTM club and engaging in these favors, I left with a black eye, two polish sausages (no longer edible), and an uncontrollable sphincter! So watch out! Or enjoy! (whatever you are into)

But congrats nonetheless!

Anonymous said...

What about Super Tuesday? A democratic battle ensues!!! Go Obama! I applaud my fellow Minnesotans on the large Obama vote. I shame my Minnesotan Republicans who voted for the idiocy of the Mitt campaign! Good thing the rest of the country's Republicans have the sense to vote McCain. How about Zotian Repubs.? You seem to have voted McCain. You are a bunch of smarty pantses!

Any other thoughts?

Non partisan voters, what will you do if we have a Clinton/McCain choice? Hmmmm?

I declare February 6th an official holiday...Today is "K-han" day! Good work my friend!

Zizzle-Zot said...

What happened in California? It seems like the west coast should be hip to the Obama mojo. Maybe it's because everything so far has been in the east, so they were caught unaware...

I was reading a breakdown of the demographics for democratic voters, and it basically said (in more words) that educated people vote for Obama and uneducated people vote for Clinton. Made me chuckle.

We blew it on Romney. He could only manage 50% of the vote in his home state, for crying out loud(although suprise suprise he cleaned up in Utah).

Clinton vs. McCain...hmmm. As a disclaimer, I still consider myself an independent. If this were the scenario, I know what I would do...

Without explicitly endorsing one or the other, let me propose this angle: Clinton has based her campaign on the (inexplicable) theory that she has more experience than Obama (because she slept with a president?) and would therefore be "ready on day one."

This platform will most assuredly come back to bite her in the ass. If I'm voting experience come general election time, who do you think I'm voting for? McCain was a POW when Hillary was still in diapers.

Anybody else?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations my good friend. Well deserved ROTM. You are loyal to the Zot and the Zot community commends you. As the first ROTM and the official Zot historian let me welcome you into the prestigious club.

However I would like to address the outrageous claims of Halo supremacy. First you should take your day in the sun with humility and keep you yapper shut. Second as newest member of the ROTM club you will be subjected to some tests (aka hazing). Hope your ready to make a complete fool of yourself. (I don't know what this has to do with your Halo comments but just thought I would throw that in there... to emphasize that you are the ROTM bitch until next month) Lastly, never in your wildest dreams could you hope to compete with the skill that we have. You should be grateful we still invite you to team up with us.

As far as the super bowl goes. The giants have to go down in history, at least in my book, as one of the worst and least deserving teams to ever call themselves NFL champs. Yeah, they put together a string of 4 good games (maybe lucky) but that doesn't mean they are deserving. I'm totally with the Zot that the D-Line won them that game hands down.

It amazes me how much support Hillary can gather. I just am dumbfounded. What on earth do people see in her? 'nough of that. I'm getting sick of politics.

Anonymous said...

I think that's exactly what happened in California. I think the minorities have a history of being pro-Hillary and aren't yet hip to the new insight in Obama. I think the language barrier has a lot to do with it (especially here in Los Angeles. CNN might be hard to interpret for ESL folks who make up most of this town.) I think if Obama ran in 2012, he would make a name for himself with the minorities and overtake the history that the Clinton name has established.

Anonymous said...

What new insight does Obama have?

Anonymous said...

K'Han...Congrats on the big day! In celebration for K-Han day i am going to drink a beer and play a few rounds of halo, because that is what Kevin would want!

As for the Giants dominant win over the weak Patriots, all i can say is WAHOO!!! and besides Brady may have lost the Super Bowl but he still gets to go home to Gisele and get his bump and grind on; while Eli is still running laps around him mansion by himself celebrating the win and looking like a TARD!

Anonymous said...

Gruber - I read it today and I'm still bitter about the Super Bowl.

Cassel - if Hilary wins, I'm staying in Europe.

Anonymous said...

Super Bowl = Super good game… Super Tuesday = Super Long line at my unorganized caucus.

Holy smokes people! Who cares whether or not the Giants “deserved” to win the championship. That was one of the best games I’ve ever seen. I agree…Eli Manning is probably the least respectable QB in the NFL (right under Rex Grossman), but that Escape-The-Sack-Pass-To-Tyree was one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history. Didn’t you guys at least enjoy watching the game? I’m reminded of the Russell Crowe quote from Gladiator… “Are you not entertained!?”

Was any one else’s caucus just mayhem? I waited in line for freakin’ ever only to figure out what precinct I lived in, then waited in a longer line to write down my candidates name on a ripped piece of notebook paper and shove it into a Nike shoebox with a slit cut in the top (apparently, my party was sponsored by Nike). Good thing our race wasn’t close. I can’t imagine the insanity. I hope New Mexico had a better system for their sake.

So why did Obama do so well in MN? I don’t know the answer to that. To me, it makes sense that he did very well here. The question I can’t figure out is…why does Hillary continue to do so well everywhere else. Is there something about her that we just don’t know here in Minnesota?

Clinton vs. McCain? Oh Please…there’s no question who I would vote for. Personally…I think that if that were to happen, the ballot should read as follows:

( ) John McCain – GOP

( ) Hillary Clinton – DFL

( ) Anyone else but Hillary Clinton – USA

Congrats k-han! A worthy recipient indeed.

Anonymous said...

first and foremost... Hip Hip hurray for Kev! It's about time you join the ROTM group of dominant individuals!

second... Go Giants... Thank everyone on the Giants for stopping the idiot patriots, who if you ask me are not patriotic at all... I was as happy as a toddler on christmas to see those unbeaten saps lose finally! Sorry Grubes and anyone else, but come on... It had to happen! On the other hand, Eli... Not MVP. Definitely have to give it up for the sack master D. Totally shut down one of the best offense in history. Give it up!

Great Job K-Han! Well deserved!


Oh yeah... I miss you all. May we all enjoy eachothers company sooner than later...

Anonymous said...

one more thing...

Joey, come on, TARD is not the correct nomenclature. Mentally Retarded, please.

Zizzle-Zot said...

Dude...Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.

With the exception of the last 3 minutes I thought the SB was boring as hell (I'm making the assumption that hell would be incredibly uninteresting.)

I like touchdowns...lots of them. I don't like punts, 1 yard runs or incomplete passes. Maybe I'm not a true football fan. I'll give you that Eli's Houdini escape, prayer of a throw(it was a stupid pass that had a 50-50 shot of getting picked off) and Tyree's circus catch was probably the best play in SB history.

The commercials were not funny and Tom Petty (though I love Tom Petty) playing a hits medley at halftime was pedestrian (who wouldn't be compared to last year's Prince?)

Noah said...

The funninass of all of you is wonderfully delightfully SO non-pedestrian. But, seriously, think about the concrete Jesus statues that are kidnapped from houses by hateful characters on a yearly basis. Here is a sad tale of crete-Jesus-knapping:

http://www.kqrs.com/goout.asp?u=http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=86444

On a different note, McCain, ehuw, is he a republican? Minutes ago Romney dropped out and my vote becomes a shadow, bummer. But luckily I was voted in as a Alternate Delegate in Precinct 13. I think the only way we could see our country in good hands is if Hilary gets the nomination. I think we all know that the Repubz will gather in droves to make sure another Clinton, especially Hilary doesn't get elected. I'm sure she’s a nice lady, but her, leading our country?-I'm with you Mrs. Corcs, Europe sounds real nice, ha.

Noah said...

Hey Congrats to Kevin dude man!

And I guess at least McCain is going strong on PorkBar spending and fighting evil.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to k-han, I don't know you, but as a fellow ROTM, I congratulate you.

Good break down of the Super Bowl game. I agree that the Giants defense made the Patriots look like a completely different team.

I will give credit to Eli for his scramble at the end of the game to avoid getting sacked and the unbelievable catch. He also had a good answer to Dave Letterman's question about Belichicks quick exit from the football field. Manning said "he must have wanted to beat traffic?"

Anyway, it was a fun game to watch.

The Friendly Liberal said...

I'm mildly impressed.

Last I checked, there has been only one person to hold "ROM" position for three months straight. Call me a legend, call this a technicality, it really doesn't matter. Put an asterisk by my name if you want, my picture still belongs in the hall of fame.

K-Han, you may have won this round, but you're a long way from immortality my friend. You're just, quite literally, the flavor of the month.

-Obama is so fricken' awesome I can hardly contain myself.

-I couldn't have written a better NFL season.

-I'm am still yet to see evidence of an intervening God.

-Guber? More like Booger.

-Future Topic: Superdelegates.

-Future Sub-Topic: Why Thomas Helgen will take up arms against the Democratic party if they subvert an Obama majority.

-Future Invention: A Mobile Telephone that is also a CD player.

-Futurama: Awesome

-Awesome: This comment (More than entire post?)

The Friendly Liberal said...

Dear Vishnu, someone let me write a "democrat" blog post to set you foolios straight.

Anonymous said...

Helgen so crazy... I think I wanna have his baby!